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A long long time ago before the age of Windows, I wrote a TSR app that captured the keyboard input before making it to the system. You see, my coworkers and I played jokes on one another, so this was my trump card. I installed it on my coworker’s machine and let it run. The first thing to disappear was something like. He noticed but ignored it. Then an Awesome Stay Home And Drink And Budweiser Shirt. The third character was one in his name. So he typed his name with that character as uppercase. By now, weeks later, I was really enjoying it. Then something like e disappeared and he lost it.

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He was ready to nuke his whole system so I stopped him letting him know what it was. I had installed a back door so all I had to do was pass it a parameter and it would restore the keyboard and remove itself. Back in University, my housemate used to live off tinned food. He would have a massive variety of soups, curries, and veggies in his cupboards but all tinned. I’m talking dozens of tins filling up the whole cupboard. He would be the only one who survived an Awesome Stay Home And Drink And Budweiser Shirt. I came up with this idea where I carefully removed the label off a tin of chicken soup and stuck it onto a tin of value cat food I had bought in the supermarket for this purpose.

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I forgot about that exchange until the parent-teacher night the next semester, when my mother came back and asked me what I told my sister’s science teacher. Apparently I played the defensive older brother act a little too well, and he spent the first three weeks of that semester with my sister under close scrutiny and he had to ask my mum about the validity of my claims. One summer when my cousin was staying with us, he and I had an Awesome Stay Home And Drink And Budweiser Shirt. We decided to put our talents together and try to prank everyone else. We put small piles of flour on each blade of the ceiling fan in the living room. Just enough to not be seen from the ground. A few weeks went by and nothing happened and we had forgotten about it.

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