Even if the writer is trying to this as some biting satire, it is A) falling flat and B) inevitably going to be used to turn these two into punchlines and jobbers when the characters are passed off to another writer. I’ve always felt that writing for a Dragon I Think I Have Enough Books Said No One Ever Shirt. You poured so much love into treated like garbage when another writer takes over the title. This is literally Fat Chance but without the New York accent, and instead of reaching into their gut they just reach into a magical backpack. She isn’t a superhero, she’s just got a magic backpack. Level 2 Protagonist material.
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It would be a neat power to watch YouTube in your head, but I’m at a loss as to how it can be used by a Dragon I Think I Have Enough Books Said No One Ever Shirt. At best it’s a support and utility power that would be used during things like investigations and interrogation to quickly find and relay information to another hero. Especially if he has access to all Internet, even restricted access. Like combing through a suspect’s email for any evidence. Vampire guy’s only power is being edgy. They don’t even tell us definitively if he can do anything or not. Out of all of the superheroes, the only useful ones are Snowflake, although limited, snow shurikens help in combat, and the backpack one, because you can hide weapons in it.
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To be fair Safespace is pretty much the only one that has an actual superpower in the Dragon I Think I Have Enough Books Said No One Ever Shirt. One of them literally has the “superpower” of being permanently hooked up to the internet and being able to instantly google anything. It’s basically just having a phone, except you never have to worry about charging. And the other just has a magic backpack. That’s it. She’s just Dora the Explorer, but worse. I shit you not. During a freak accident “internet gas” gave someone permanent access to the worldwide web. It’s like too many people chugged beer and cabbage during the recession. It’s like Hawkgirl in Justice League. She can fly and she’s strong. That’s it. That’s like, basic entry requirements.
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