My mom used to Lion Way Maker Miracle Worker Promise Keeper Light In The Darkness My God Shirt. You get free drugs then when you’re addicted. What a load of horseshit that was. In fact, if she hadn’t gone on and on about drugs and how awful they were, perhaps I wouldn’t have been so curious about them. If I get murdered my life insurance pays off my mortgage and my apartment goes to my parents. I am literally worth more dead than alive. Free naps, uninterrupted by children who can’t use indoor voices or husbands. Who can’t find things that are in plain sight?
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One of the most prolific child murderers in the US in the 20th century, Lion Way Maker Miracle Worker Promise Keeper Light In The Darkness My God Shirt was from a family of candy makers, had a white panel van from which he would distribute free candy and murdered at least 20 pre-teens/teenagers during his ‘career’. The conspirator’s girlfriend, and their mutual friend who had come over to ‘hang out’. You wake up confused the next day, with an appendectomy scar and a Canadian passport in the breast pocket of your plaid flannel shirt.
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This is what my friend always says. We joke about him having a pedo van because it’s old and dirty. He takes the jokes to the Lion Way Maker Miracle Worker Promise Keeper Light In The Darkness My God Shirt. “Oh, kids don’t care about candy these days. I’ll paint ‘Free Wi-Fi’ on the side and get all the kids I want.” You wake up confused the next day, with an appendectomy scar and a Canadian passport in the breast pocket of your plaid flannel shirt. My mom used to tell me that first, you get free drugs. What a load of horseshit that was. In fact, if she hadn’t gone on and on about drugs and how awful they were, perhaps. I didn’t consider that, but I think you’re 100% right. I still have internalized heeby jeebies from the term ‘drug dealer’ even though all of mine are fantastic people.
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